Category Archives: Everyday Christian Living

How I lost 70+ pounds!

Posted in Everyday Christian Living, My Healthy Lifestyle Journey, Uncategorized by

As a lot of you may know, the later part of 2015 and earlier months in 2016, I started my third fitness journey. In the span of about 4 months. I lost 50+ pounds. In total, I am down 70lbs! My largest weight was 247lbs. I currently weigh 170 something pounds.

Left: 2012 I was 247lbs and was very uncomfortable and insecure about myself. T hated this pictured and never intended on posting it. Right: 2 weeks ago at 170lbs. I’ve come a long way!


Not only was this a physical journey, but it was a mental, emotional, and spiritual journey. It was me literally me building strength and character to overcome everything that had been weighing me down. I went through a lot in the past few years that I have probably shared with no more than a handful of people. I went through many failures, financial hardship, abandonment, heartache, heartbreak from multiple relationships with people that I was very close to, pain, depression, sleepless nights, the whole nine. I was broken and no longer had the strength to carry on anymore. I told the Lord I could not bear it anymore. I don’t have the physical strength to carry myself physically, mentally or emotionally.

You know what He said to me? He said yes you can. “I won’t give you more, more than you take. I might let bend but I won’t let you break. No, I’ll never ever let you go. Don’t you forget it.” Those lyrics by Group 1 pretty much summed up what the Lord was telling me. He said, “I know it (the weight of your world) is crushing you, but something beautiful will come of it all. I need you to get through this battle. I need you to get fit. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. I need to cleanse you so that I can make you whole again. I need you to be healthy. I need you to gain physical strength to be able to get through this. We have a long way to go, so I need to build endurance in you to persevere. Remember, I have overcome the entire world, and I have the power to do the same for you, but I need your temple (body).”

People ask me all the time, “How did you lose weight?!” I try not to over spiritualize it BUT, it was so much more than just a weight loss journey. Many want to know what I really did to shed the weight.

Here is the big secret: I fasted and I prayed! Those are literally the ONLY things that I did different than the first 2 times I tried to lose weight. I tried 2 times before but in 2016, it finally clicked! I cried and asked the lord to rebuild my temple.

I was on a fast from October 2015-Easter 2016. I needed the Lord to breathe life into me again. Then I started going to the gym and the weight melted away. I am still amazed every time I look in the mirror! I love the woman that I have become from this journey and it’s not over yet!

I feel very accomplished to be able to work hard enough to drop some much need weight off physically, mentally, and spiritually. I feel so much better. I am healthy, I am out of the obesity category. And, most importantly, I am finally spiritually fit to walk into the life that God has chosen for me.

I encourage everyone that is struggling with their weight to invite God into your journey. He will get you through. You only get one body. You were bought with a price. Take care of it 🙂

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” I Corinthians 6:19-20

My next fitness goal is to tone my body and get abs!! Here is a sneak peak of my progress! I am going to Punta Cana in 7 months! Wish me luck! 🙂


Mercy Loved the Pain Away

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Surely God has been good to me, He is still good to me, and He will always be good to me. I know that people look at my outer appearance but God looks at my heart. Surely He is good to those with a pure heart right? He truly knows my heart and I thought I had a good heart, so why did I nearly miss seeing his goodness in the midst of chaos? Because I was too busy looking the other way. I envied the people who made it. I resented the people who had no worries. I coveted all that were merry. I had green eyes for all who lived a good life, unlike mine, so I looked away.

I kept looking away. I completely lost sight of my focus. I allowed the chaos to tear me apart. So then I tried to understand why the detestable prospered? Why do I experience so much injustice, pain, and disappointment?  Why do you let me hurt and all of them get away scot free? Why do I have to deal with the residue of every mistake that I have ever made? Why do you allow me to burn in agony? Why did you allow me to cry myself to sleep often for 3 years? When does this end? Your tormentous ways…do they ever cease?

Your only response to all of these questions is persevere? Consider it pure joy when I am literally being hit on all sides? And endure all of it with no premature escape? What’s the point? I am better off throwing in the towel and looking away.

I spent most of 2015 secretly angry with the Lord. I could barely muster up the strength to actually recognize him for who he was because I was so angry at Him from January to December. At least a year long ought with God. My life was in shambles and I felt like I was watching it slowly crumble away right before my eyes. It felt so out of reach. How could my Father let this happen?

I tried to understand it all but couldn’t because His ways are higher and and His thoughts are so much deeper than my mental capacity. My limited mind cannot dare understand the unlimited ways of God.

But it wasn’t until I went to the sanctuary that I gained understanding.

It was there in the sanctuary where I realized how bitter my heart was towards God. I was all torn up inside. The wormwood and the gall agonized my heart and mind and ate at the deepest part of my soul. At that very moment, I knew that this chaos could not overtake me anymore. I cried out to the Lord and asked him to just remember me.

At that very moment, I heard Him. He said “Take heart, it is I. I have overcome the world. And beloved, of all of this, I will overcome you too.”

It was because of the Lord’s mercy and goodness that I was not consumed. His compassion never failed me. They are new to me every morning, even in my mourning. Great is your faithfulness to me, great has your faithfulness been to me, and great will your faithfulness always be to me.

Surely God has been good to me. He is still good to me. And He will always be good to me.

Here is the “sanctuary” that I made in the spare bedroom of my old apartment. It wasn’t fancy like I wanted it to be because at the time all I had was $95 in my account. I made the best out of what I had. My Bible, a pillow, a heated blanket, index cards, sharpies, a notebook/journal, sticky notes, Jesus Calling devotional, my radio and my vision board. Although, it wasn’t the prettiest, I gave God the very best that I had.

This is the place where I spent my early mornings and late evenings all of 2016. It’s the place where I let all my tears of hurt, pain, guilt, and shame fall. It’s the place where I finally looked to the hills instead of looking away. I heard the Lord’s voice again. I began to dream again. I felt life in my body again. In that very place,The Lord cleaned me up and made me whole again. Here I am 9 or 10 months later thanking God for that season because it made me the woman that I am today.


“By your spirit I will rise from the ashes of defeat, the resurrected King, is resurrecting me.” #SingMyLife Resurrecting by Elevation Worship

Scriptural reference: Psalm 73; Lamentations 3

Never Forget that the Thorn is a part of the Rose

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In order to keep me humble with knowledge of what God is doing for me, I was given the gift of a barrier, the very thing that holds me back, the thorn in my flesh. It was given to me years back to keep me in constant touch with my limitations.

Satan did his best to get me down but what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty and forgetting thankfulness for the blessings of God!

At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and I cried and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad that I let it happen. I quit focusing on the impediment and began appreciating the gift. It was a constant reminder of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness.

Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

The thing that I used to look at as a thorn in my flesh is one of the very things that keeps me so close to God. No rose is complete without the thorn “Don’t beat yourself up about it. It wasn’t a bad thing, it was a God thing.”

2 Corinthians 12:79 (Tanisha Lashelle’s Version)

I Have Not Loved Myself Since I Was 13

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Since I was 13 years old, I have silently dealt with low self-esteem. What I thought about myself and how I looked to myself. For a long time, I dealt with weight issues, my value and my beauty. I believed the lies I told my self for years. People would tell me that I was beautiful all the time but I could not see it. There was nothing you could do or say to convince any differently because I didn’t believe it for my self.

Then one day, a chord finally struck in me when someone said to me “Some days you look pretty, some days you just look regular. You don’t have an “it” factor. There is nothing special about you.”

That was undoubtedly, the most hurtful conversation that I have ever experienced. Talk about a major blow to the innermost part of me. In that very moment, my life changed forever.

Victory over my 15 year self esteem battle came just weeks before my 28th birthday when I simply asked the Lord two questions: “How do you see me?” and “What makes me special to you?”

Here is what He said to me in prayer:

“Uh, because you are literally to die for! Whenever you are feeling worthless, purposeless, overlooked and forgotten, remember that I thought that you were worth more than anything in this world. My Love paid the cost for you! “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 NASB

He continued on to say, “Beloved, you are not here by accident regardless of whether you were born out of wedlock or even a product of an unfortunate circumstance. The world needed you! That is the exact reason why I saw fit to create you. Without you, so many people will be missing out on something great and no one else can replace that greatness and purpose that I assigned specifically to you. You are irreplaceable. You were created with purpose. You are special. It’s something about you. I bought you with a price, which in return makes you precious cargo and you are highly valued to Me. “Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you” Isaiah 43:4 TLTV. “Know that I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born, I gave your life purpose and I called you and I appointed you. You had a purpose, even before birth!” Jeremiah 1:5 TLTV ” 

Although 15 years is a long time to suffer , I thank God for that. Once I was able to come out of it, my confidence shot up to the sky. I like what and who I see when I look in the mirror. I love everything about myself.

To the beautiful young girl or woman dealing with low self esteem and lack self confidence: When you come to realize how much God adores you, I guarantee it will change your entire mind about how you feel about yourself. Through this experience, I got to know my God, Jesus Christ as the one who delivers and you can too. Ask God to help you to see yourself through His eyes. I promise you that it will change your entire perspective about yourself 🙂

#SingMyLife “When I don’t fit in, and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. When I don’t measure up to much in this life. Oh I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ” Forgiven by Sanctus Real